By Leland Gregory

Best-selling slapstick comedian Leland Gregory deals a blockbuster selection of greater than two hundred strange, bizarre, foolish, surprising, and downright outrageous actual tales approximately historic Greek and Roman history.

New York Times best-selling writer Leland Gregory is certainly one of Andrews McMeel Publishing’s so much profitable noncartoon humorists. foolish, surprising, bizarre, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the brief anecdotes inside of his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, on-line, and broadcast media from all around the world. Inside Stupid historic History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and old mythconceptions, including:

 
— To struggle off Roman ships in three hundred BC, Carthaginians catapulted dwell snakes at them.
— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation whilst presents of cloaks have been showered upon him through thankful electorate at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. 
— In old Rome, lengthy sooner than the arrival of the Christian Bible, Roman males swore to “tell the reality, the entire fact, and not anything however the fact” through putting their correct hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the time period “testimony.”
—  Of the Seven Wonders of the traditional international, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the floor in 356 BC. The arsonist used to be accomplished; and to ensure his want for eternal reputation wouldn’t come actual, it used to be ordered that his identify be troubled from all documents and not pointed out again. But humans will talk. Despite all efforts, his identify leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as essentially the most infamous firebugs in history. 

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589–599. ) Exposing the reality round 340 B. C. , Phryne the courtesan used to be accused of frightening the gods via showing nude in the course of the competition of Poseidon at Eleusis. in response to Athenaeus (Deipnosophistae thirteen. 585), the popular Greek painter Apelles obtained his suggestion for his masterpiece Venus anadyomene (Venus emerging from the ocean) from Phryne’s act. At her trial, the orator Hyperides, her defender and likewise certainly one of her fanatics, tore open Phryne’s gown and uncovered her bare breasts to the courtroom. It used to be all a part of his criminal protection. He concluded that if she was once, actually, the main attractive girl in Athens then she should have been a favourite of Aphrodite, goddess of affection and wonder. And if a god likes her—no guy should still pass judgement on her. It labored, too. The panel of judges governed in Phryne’s prefer. (Athenaeus, Deipnosophistae thirteen. 591e. ) in accordance with PLINY THE ELDER, the main impressive trust approximately HYENAS IS THEIR skill to mimic HUMAN SPEECH. IT was once identified THAT HYENAS may STALK round the SHEPHERD’S HUT AND study one in every of THEIR NAMES—THEN AT evening they might name TO HIM AND eat HIM while HE responded. (NATURAL background eight. 106. ) HE additionally experiences the assumption (28. a hundred) THAT should you position A HYENA’S TONGUE among the only real OF YOUR FOOT AND YOUR SHOE you won't BE BARKED AT by way of canine. you may have Come some distance, child I From humble beginnings, Theodora (A. D. 497–548 ), daughter of Acacius, a endure coach of the Constantinople, rose to nice prominence. Upon the demise of her father, Theodora used to be compelled by way of her actress-dancer mom right into a lifestyles within the theater after which of prostitution. (Claudine M. Dauphin, “Brothels, Baths and Babes: Prostitution within the Byzantine Holy Land,” Classics eire three [1996]: pp. 47–72. ) At 16, Theodora grew to become the mistress to a Syrian reliable named Hecebolus, and in A. D. 522 she stuck the attention of Justinian I, the emperor Justin I’s nephew. Justinian was once so enamored that he desired to marry Theodora, yet Byzantine legislation forbade royals from marrying underneath their station (and an actress and prostitute used to be as underneath as you will get). Seeing his nephew so smitten, and being the emperor, Justin I easily replaced the legislation, and Justinian and Theodora turned husband and spouse. MESSAGES FROM THE prior VIII Graffiti from Pompeii, amassed and recorded within the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum. The quantity after the positioning in parentheses is the catalog variety of the inscription (not the date) in quantity four: (Inn of the Mule Drivers; left of the door) 4957: “We have rainy the mattress, host. I confess we've performed fallacious. so as to understand why, there has been no chamber pot. ” (Atrium of the home of the Jews) 2409a: “Stronius Stronnius is aware not anything! ” (House of Curvius Marcellus and Fabia; within the tablinum) 4993: “Ampliatus Pedania is a thief! ” (House of Poppaeus Sabinus; peristyle) 5092: “If you felt the fires of affection, mule driving force, you'll make extra haste to determine Venus. i like an enthralling boy; I ask you, goad the mules; let’s move. Take me to Pompeii, the place love is nice. you're mine. ” (House of the Centenary; within the atrium) 5213: “My lusty son, with what percentage girls have you ever had sexual family?

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